The Single-Adult Friendly Church

If a 24-year-old young lady came to your church, would she find a church family who would love her and minister to her?

If a 37-year-old single man came to visit one of your Sunday School classes, would he be welcomed?

If a 42-year-old single mother of 8-year-old twin boys walked into your Wednesday night supper, would she feel comfortable?

If a 68-year-old widower wanted to find a new church home, would he find it with your congregation?

When dealing with single adult ministry, a major challenge is overcoming stereotypes to effectively reach out to the single population. One set of stereotypes may be perpetuated by the church and society, while the other set is formed by single adults themselves. One key to this type of ministry is dealing with these misconceptions.

On one hand, the label of "single adult" is often seen as including only young never-marrieds without children - completely overlooking those who are separated, divorced or widowed. On top of that, these single adults are also seen as irresponsible, immature and spoiled.

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On the other hand, churches face the stereotypes some single adults place on that ministry: Comments are made that single adult events or Sunday School classes are social clubs or meat markets.

How does a church overcome these barriers to develop an effective single adult ministry? The first step is to make your church a welcoming environment for single adults. Here are a few ways you can make your church single adult-friendly:

Define the term single adult as those never married, separated, divorced, widowed persons and single parents of all ages.

Language. Use descriptive language that appeals to the unmarried adult who may not identify with the term family. For example, call Family Night Supper, Church Fellowship Supper.

Needs. Compile a list of your church's unmarried adults, taking a needs and interest survey to better understand actions your church can take to involve and minister with single people.

Preaching. Encourage your pastor to use illustrations of interest to single adults as well as married adults. For example, point out that Jesus and many of the early church leaders were single adults. What an example for single adults to pattern their lives after today!

Provide training for deacons and other caregivers, helping them better understand caring for the divorced, separated, widowed and single parent family.

Worship. Invite single adults to lead in worship through prayer, music, drama, testimonies, etc., on a regular basis.

Discovery. Help single adults discover their spiritual gifts and find places of service in the body. Use Start a Revolution: Nine World-Changing Strategies for Single Adults as a resource.

Don't wait for single adults to come to you. The majority are unchurched. Go to them with a coffeehouse, a divorce recovery seminar, mother's night out for single moms, etc.

Honor single adults by conducting a single adult day recognizing the contributions of single people within your church and community.

Start a ministry with single adults. This could simply be a Sunday School class relating through fellowship activities or a more structured approach for larger groups.

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