The Art and Joy of Giving and Receiving
Don't you just love giving gifts! I thoroughly enjoy the Christmas season and the joy of giving! I shop all year for friends and relatives and can hardly wait to see their faces when they open their gifts. I also enjoy other opportunities for gift giving and often create my own occasions for giving gifts. Giving when nothing is expected is especially fun.
OK, OK, I know gift giving isn't fun for everyone. Some people agonize about what to buy. Many people don't have the money, time or inclination to buy gifts. So, what do we do about our diversity in giving gifts? Giving gifts in the office requires thought and sensitivity. Consider these suggestions:
If you have the shortest tenure in the office, ask about office customs regarding gifts giving.
Are gifts given? On what occasions? What kinds of gifts? Who gives gifts to whom?
If you are a senior member of the office staff, share gift-giving customs with newcomers.
They may hesitate to ask. Your telling them as part of their orientation about the customs may save embarrassment for them. Don't wait until the day before a party is planned when gifts are generally given and say, "Oh, by the way ..."
Give consistently.
Don't change customs every time someone has a birthday. Don't bring a cake for one and not another. Don't take one person to lunch and not another. Don't plan a baby shower for one baby and do nothing when another secretary gets married.
Give gifts that are not too personal or expensive.
Some offices frown on gift giving, often because of past experiences when someone's feelings were hurt or the giving got out of hand. This is unfortunate because celebrating special days can contribute to team building. Avoid making rules about gift giving, if possible. Keep the giving limited and simple so that it does not become too time-consuming or expensive. Consider these alternatives to buying personal gifts:
- Celebrate birthdays once a month with a special break, birthday cake and cards (perhaps homemade).
- Go out to eat as a group to celebrate special occasions, treating the honoree.
- At Christmas, consider a group project to give gifts to a special family instead of to one another.
Before a problem arises, develop a policy, with consensus of the group, for sending flower/gifts.
Try to think of all possibilities: Will you give a gift only if a person is a hospital patient? What about outpatient surgery? Prolonged illness at home? Will you send flowers when a mother dies? A mother-in-law? An aunt or uncle? When someone leaves, will the gift's size depend on years of service?
You may want to start a pool for gift giving in which everyone contributes a certain amount monthly or annually rather than each time a gift is given.
People who enjoy giving can feel frustrated if that urge to give is limited. But creative givers can find inexpensive ways to show appreciation. For example: Bring flowers from your garden to brighten another's desk. Write a note to say, "I appreciate you!" Share home-baked goodies with the entire office. Place a special book in the church library in honor of your coworkers. Give anything you enjoy making yourself-preserves, bread, a cross-stitched bookmark, a painted T-shirt.
Planning ahead for gift giving, keeping it simple, and celebrating often will prevent special occasions from becoming drudgery in your office. Just remember, "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).
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